How to say goodbye to a pet

This Monday we put our almost fourteen year old Kelpie cross, Jet dog to sleep. Despite gradually watching his chin hairs and eyebrows turn grey, his back legs stiffen with old age, and his hearing deteriorate we weren't ready for the sudden signs of sickness that kicked us all in the guts on Friday morning.

As I was getting dressed for the day Lara (5), Olivia (4) and our almost twelve year old Labrador Baxter came running up the hall way to tell me that something was wrong with Jet. And the tone in Mark's voice when he yelled for me from the kitchen made my heart sink.

When I walked in the kitchen to see my fur baby sprawled out on the floor, with huge amounts of saliva coming from his mouth, it instantly hit me that my daughters weren't exaggerating, and that both our dogs knew that Jet was in serious trouble. I took Jet in my arms, and gave him the biggest hug as he shook in my arms and looked at me with the most worried face I have ever seen. He knew he was stuffed. We all checked him over for a tick, hoping that all we needed to do was find it, freeze it off as soon as possible, and then Jet would be able to recover, with our trusty vet taking care of him.

There was no tick. Blood tests showed a rise in platelets that could have been a response to some type of poison, but for the life of us we couldn't find or think of what that could have been. After the high dose of steroids that the vets gave Jet on Friday, and his slow but steady decline in health over the weekend, a brain tumor was suspected.

Jet was my fur baby. At the tender age of twenty two my ovaries kicked into gear, and I was ready to be a Mum....but I certainly wasn't ready to have a child. So, I looked into adopting a rescue puppy, preferably one from a litter, and when I went and met Jet's litter, he chose me. All the other puppies were running around, exploring the front yard of their foster home, but Jet just kept coming back and sitting in my lap. That was it, from then on we were best friends.

He slept next to my bed, and followed me everywhere. My little sister would laugh and tell me that he was a dog, not a baby, because I would take him with me wherever I could. But this built an incredible bond, one where we communicated with hand signals and looks.

A few years on and I moved out of home, at which point Jet would occasionally stay at home by himself (on days where I couldn't sneak him in to uni), until my now husband and I got him a Labrador to play with; Baxter. The second they met, Jet looked at me and said "thank you Mum", and the two of them were inseparable ever since. As I write this, I believe Baxter is crying for his Jet dog, even though he is at a puppy play date, he hasn't known life without Jet.

Together Jet and Baxter were the most amazing dogs....to be fare, Baxter is a kind hearted boof-head, and Jet was always the loving brain-source. Anyone who spent time with Jet would say what an amazing dog he was, the vets included which is really saying something. Jet certainly was someone special. He went from sleeping in my bedroom, to sleeping in the lounge-room, a few years of sleeping outside (thanks to his boof-headed brother's midnight pantry antics), and for his last few months back to sleeping in the lounge-room on a nice comfy bed, where he was always woken up by Livs and I going and giving him a good morning pat. Jet took all of those changes in his stride, without any protest. He went from being my only baby, to being pushed down the ladder by two children under two, and he loved them unconditionally-even if sometimes he would look at me to say "Mum, can you please stop Livs from giving me a 'health-check'?".

After a high dose of steroids on Friday Jet came home, and we all had lots of cuddles with him. On Sunday night, I got myself comfy on the lounge, and placed Jet dog on my chest, where he went to sleep, and had his first proper sleep in days. When he did wake up, he looked up at me with so much love in his eyes, and kissed my nose, we knew we were saying goodbye.

When we woke up on Monday morning, Jet was worse, so the girls, Baxter and Mark all said goodbye to him, and I took him to the vets to do the kindest thing possible. Our friend at Belrose Veterinary Hospital, who knew Jet for most of his life, gently spoke to Jet as he gave him the 'green dream' and I stroked his forehead. It was quick, and painless. Jet didn't suffer. He led a good life, with lots of crazy people who loved him. Right now I can picture him rolling around on the grass in the backyard, enjoying the sunshine as I played in the veggie garden, occasionally throwing him the odd tomato, or what ever else was in season.

We were lucky to have such a loving, gentle soul in our lives. And instead of trying to convince myself that I shouldn't be grieving so much over a dog, I am going to give myself permission to feel all these big feelings, because in the end, Jet taught me how to be a mum, and Lara and Olivia think I'm a pretty good one-most of the time.

My babies last week-we had no idea this would be the last photo of them all  happily together.

Our pets rely on us to look after them throughout their lives, and they also rely on us to make the most difficult, selfless choice at the end of their lives. That choice is a gift.

In feeling grief for the huge hole that is left where my fur-baby used to be, I've had to also not feel guilty for being so upset by the loss of a pet. They are family members, and we need to let ourselves grieve accordingly. I've also acknowledged the fact that I don't know how to behave, or what to say to someone when they have lost a loved one, so I went looking for guidance. This podcast helped me process the feelings I'm feeling right now, but also taught me that my "I'm so sorry for your loss, I don't know what to say", and a big warm hug is actually the perfect support for someone experiencing loss. The podcast Death: Love, grief and hope is worth a listen. My favourite quote comes from one of the guests "you can chose to turn the shit in to fertiliser", it seemed rather fitting.

SunSense - Expert Care For The Sun Aware

With spring finally in full swing, my children and I are out in the veggie garden much more, which means we are getting through more sunscreen, and our hats are getting dirtier....and we're busy doing so I'm not making enough time to write, but regular writing is back in my focus, so watch this space.



Are you being sun aware this season? Sun Sense makes it easy with their sensitive sunscreen....look closely and you might see a cute little blondie at work :-)

How To Reduce Your Plastic Consumption, and Still Enjoy Everything

How are you going with your Plastic Free July efforts? If you are new to this effort, give yourself a pat on the back every time you remember your coffee keep cup, reusable drink bottle and reusable shopping bags. It takes time to change habits, and dwelling on your slip ups is pointless, instead, walk in to the shops with your keep bags swinging on your arm singing "I'm saving the turtles" nice and loud-especially if you had to abandon your trolley full of shopping and go back out to the car to get them.

We have been consciously reducing our waste for quite some time now-apparently my kids are really good at lecturing the other kindy kids about their yoghurt pouches. But we still have a LONG way to go, and plastic free July gives us an opportunity to take further steps, since everyone is being mindful of the same thing, and we are all learning together, at the same time.

One of the biggest problems we are having lately is with berries, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries you name them, we love to eat them, we aren't growing them (at the moment), and it seems that the only way you can purchase them is in a plastic container. BUT, the folks at Ingleside Market are trying to change this. They are now selling strawberries by the bucket, and they put the berries in a paper bag for you to take home. When I asked them if I could do the same for blueberries, and if they could reuse the plastic container, the wonderful response was 'Yes!', so we tipped our blueberries in to a paper bag at the counter, and the plastic container that they were in is no longer single use. Winning. Next time I will try to remember to take a container to put them in.

Do you always buy your bread at the supermarket in a plastic bag? Make it your mission for this weekend to visit your local bakery and purchase your bread in a paper bag, or better still your own reusable fabric bag. Sure, you probably don't have time to go to the bakery every day, but deciding to go at least once a week means one less plastic packaging bag, and you will be supporting a small local business....plus, once you have tasted proper bakery bread you will want to make the time to go there more often.

All it takes is for one person to ask the question "can I buy this in my own container", chose to do things a bit more mindfully and changes happen. YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE! Go and support small business and ask the questions that will create the change you want to see in the world.

I'm not going to try and tell you that our plastic recycling bin is empty, it certainly isn't, and I've stopped beating myself up over it. It is less full every fortnight we put it out, which means my family is making progress, and if all of us set ourselves a simple, achievable goal like that, think how much our planet would thank us. Keep going, you are making a difference! When "no waste" seems impossible strive for "low waste", it works.

Winter Gardening on the Northern Beaches-All Organic, With Kids and Chic...

Lara and I had a lovely day today, cuddling, taking things easy and then venturing out in to the backyard to get things done. I guess not all sick days have to be terrible...yes, she didn't go to kindy today because she vomited three times first thing in the morning and felt rotten for hours-I think it had something to do with her skulling 400mls of water when she woke up. Fingers crossed that's all it was.



So Olivia had her first day at kindy without her sister there, which resulted in a few minutes of crying when we left and her needing a teacher cuddle so we could leave, but then she had a great day, as did Lara and I. We were well overdue for some one-on-one time.



We looked after the chickens, worked the compost bins (yes, we have more than one) and planted some seeds. All in all it was a lovely day.